We weren’t planning for a pregnancy, but my wife and I were happy regardless when the test came back positive.
I was genuinely scared that I wouldn’t be fit to be a good father, but another part of me was overbrimmed with joy at the thought of finally reaching this milestone in my life.
It’s hard to explain the feeling of being a parent for the first time to someone who has never had kids before. You have helpless living beings whose very livelihood and survival rests within your hands. It’s a feeling of responsibility that is a special part of being a human being, but it’s also terrifying when you’re not used to it or are experiencing it for the first time. My dad said he never stopped having that fear and worrying about how his behavior would impact my and my sibling’s lives. At the same time, he told me that it’s healthy to have fear, as long as it’s not one of my central guiding principles or values in life. We allow it to shield us from harm, but we have to take leaps of faith to progress to subsequent stages in life. Having children is the biggest leap of faith I’ve taken since getting married, but both have been the most important parts of my entire life. I just feel terrible that my wife has to go through so much pain and she can’t even use CBD for the pain. Although we might find out in the future that CBD is safe for unborn children, we don’t have that sort of data right now. Because we don’t know exactly how cannabinoids affect the development of a fetus, doctors and the FDA err on the side of caution. They told us that it wouldn’t be a good idea for my wife to use CBD while pregnant or breastfeeding, but that she could again after this time.